Going on

I've been waiting for something good to talk about cuz I feel like I am boring my blog readers. Not good. What can i say, when you lead a boring life, all you talk about is boring stuff. Here I go, try to stay awake. I have been having a little trouble with my awesome son Alex. He has always been a little different socially and doesn't make friends that easily. I hate seeing that cuz it's exactly how I grew up and it does not feel good. I was talking to my counselor (yes I see a shrink, what of it :)) and talking to her about his problems and what to do about them and she suggested I take him in to his doctor to see if he suffers from anxiety like I do. So I take him in and the doctor talks to him and asks a lot of questions. Finally he turns to me and says well it's obvious that he has a social disorder. This particular one that Alex has just makes him a bit different from other kids. For example, if a group of kids are with each other playing ball or something, the one kids that has the disorder is off on his own playing by himself. Kind of like the odd ball. No, that does not mean he is handicapped in any way. He just likes things differently then other kids. He may also suffer from ADHD but the doctor doesn't want to test him on that till the fall. So we will have to wait on that diagnosis. Otherwise he is such a smart handsome boy that loves to be loved. He is so much like me it is scary. He goes through a lot of what I went through emotionally at that age, and has so many of my habits. Sheesh! I really wish I didn't pass down all that crap. It was so hard growing up with my problems that I still am affected by it. Poor baby. And even though I know exactly what he is going through when he gets rejected by people, I have no idea how to help him. Sometimes I wish I could say "Alex, if someone talks to you like that again go kick their butts" but I can't. I just have to talk to him about the best thing to do and hope he uses it sometime. Man it's hard being a parent sometimes. It is hard to treat him the same as Mikaila, which I would love to do because I am very against treating one kid as the favorite, while the other one feels left out. It is so easy with Mikaila. She's Miss Perfect child. She does everything right, she is gorgeous and she just makes me smile. Alex is more difficult. I am constantly having to lecture him about not listening, getting into trouble at school, talking back, being too loud, etc... I feel like I am playing favorites and that makes me so upset. I want Alex to ALWAYS know that I love him just as much as Mikaila. Maybe even feel like he is more special because he is my first baby. You can't just replace the love you feel for your first baby. He has always been so special to me. I love watching him grow up and learn things but makes me sad that he is struggling. I hate seeing him treated differently but I hope he can grow up a better person then I did, and always feel like he more loved then any kid could ever be in the world because he is my son and he is the best one out there to me. I love you buddy bear. You are the most awesome kid ever! Love Mom.