School and other stuff

I can't believe it's school time already! Where has the time gone? The kids are getting so grown up! The first day of school I was all nervous about them finding there line outside where they meet their class and making sure they knew where everything was and to be nice to other people and play with each other during recess if they were lonely. I heard a couple of days ago from an awesome neighbor that the kids were seen holding hands during recess the first day and it just made my day knowing that they were getting along and taking care of each other. I always worry about if they get lonely cuz no one will play with them or if they are being bullied or something but they are just doing good so far and it makes me happy.
The 2nd day of school they wanted me to just drop them off on the corner and not have me walk them to their lines. Sniff. It was hard watching them go all by themselves. I hate not being as close to them as before when they were really little. They don't need me as much and it's hard dealing with that. It's nice in some ways but I want to continue having them ask me to help them out with stuff so i don't feel like they are totally independant.
We had a really scary experience a few weeks ago. We went to the zoo with martys brother and sister in law and were having a great time. I am very paranoid about the kids getting lost so I was constantly watching them but while we were looking at the gorilla Alex got lost in the crowd and we didn't really notice and he started walking around cuz he couldn't see us in the crowd and when we were ready to go somewhere else, we were trying to locate him and he wasn't anywhere near. At that moment I think I had a minor stroke. My whole body went numb and I started shaking. Marty went one way to look for him and I went another and we had marty's brother standing where we were originally just in case he showed up there. I looked and looked and couldn't find him so I finally went back to the started point to see if marty had any luck but he wasn't back yet and I just couldn't breathe. Just the thought of Alex being alone and scared cuz he couldn't find us is seriously the most horrible feeling. Finally Marty walks up with Alex in his arms and Alex was crying because he didn't know where we were and I just lost it. My poor baby. I never want that to happen again. I remember the panic and fear that comes when you are lost and have no idea where your parents are. He may be almost 8 but he's still my baby. I'm not ready for him to be grown up enough to do his own things. I can't even let him go around the block on his bike alone because I am afraid of what might happen while he is out of my sight. He still is not very good at watching for cars even though he has been told way too many times and just doesn't think before he acts. It scares me. I would die if anything happened to the kids. I am way too over protective. I am slowly trying to let go of my grasp on them a little so they don't feel smothered but it's hard.
Anyway things have been good with my new shift at work. I like being able to come home in time to get the kids and being able to drop them off for school every morning. It makes me feel more involved. It's also better for my work attitude. I was really struggling with my early shift and things started getting way too stressful and they have calmed down a little but I am still working on learning to relax more. I am looking for the positives in life and not dwelling on the negatives. Work in progress. Ooh, I know I am going way too long here, but I have finally decided what I want to go to school for. I want to learn Cosmetology and makeup artistry. It sounds way fun and I think I would do good in it. The only really bad part is actually going to school and not having a lot of time to spend just chillin out with marty and the kids. I love my evenings. Ok I will quit now. More to come......